BEFORE: I didn’t worry about my weight. I was saving my body for the right person. I was loud, blunt, and friendly. I didn’t have a fear of speaking to a group, or in front of a group. I did not drink, smoke bud, or cigarettes. I chose to be around positive influences. I was a straight A student, teacher’s pet, & a leader. I read a book everyday, I wrote poetry, & played sports. Always hungry for knowledge, for harmless fun. I was fully aware of my intelligence.
I was fully intending on becoming the first female president. & everyone believed that I could.
NOW: I have an obsession with weight loss. I lost all respect towards my body, after falling in love and giving in to someone who had no respect for me at all. I’m secretive, I bite my tongue, and I keep to myself mostly. I have horrible stage fright that triggers panic attacks in group conversations where I have to speak. I’m an alcoholic, I smoke marijuana daily, I’ve done multiple drugs I’d never even heard of, & I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. I steal from family. I lie. I can’t graduate on time, my teachers don’t trust me, & I’m a follower. I’m being evicted & I work as a housekeeper. I don’t read, or write anymore. Beer pong over-rules harmless fun & I’ve somehow convinced myself I’m not intelligent over the years.
My morals & values are squeezed dry, I gave them all away. & I stopped dreaming. This wasn’t who I intended to become. How could I have been so stupid & careless?
